TOI FALLS FROM GRACE

Just as i almost won the raging battle against my writing urges and the submission mania had finally gripped the writer in me in a deadlock and squelched its very desire to live, along came a procession to make all my efforts in vain, armed with (!) orange flags, yelling Narayankhedkar Hi Hi. Or was it Haye Haye? Whatever. They just wanted to coax me into writing again; jolt me out of the impression that i can squish the writer in me for at least a month twice a year.

As if that wasn't enough, the next day, there's a pic in the Times of Yedyas, that has conveniently missed shooting me by just a few degrees. For the record, I was just maybe 2 metres away from the left end of the offending pic. Mental note to warn the photographer that this should never transpire again. Jokes apart.

I must say, hats off to the author of the accompanying piece, Miss Chhapia, for having perfectly executed Lord Krishna's advice to Arjuna on the battlefield. I don't know whether u r familiar with the story of Ashwatthama. Let me enlighten those who never paid attention to Hindi Bal Mahabharata in Std. 7. The rest may cut to the next paragraph.
Those were the days of bloodshed among blood brothers, blood shedding itself. The Pandavas and Kauravas were at war. The brothers' guru Dronacharya was formally on the Kaurava's side and was commanding their Akshauhini Sena. Now this dude had a son, Ashwatthama. And Lord Krishna had an idea. He hatched a plan to make Guru Drona set down his weapons. He sent Bheema to slay the elephant named Ashwatthama and cried out loud and clear--- "Ashwatthama has been slain!!" Guru Drona, under the impression that they spoke of his son, was torn apart by the news.Drona knew his son's strengths and refused to believe it. The fact that Yudhishthira never lied drew him to his disciples tent, where he asked him:"Tell me, is Ashwatthama dead?" Yudhishthira replied (on our hero LK's orders, of course) " अश्वत्थामा मारा गया, पर नर नहीं, गज" (Ashwatthama was killed; not the man, but the beast). He said the last phrase rather quietly, almost inaudibly. Drona, of course, knowing Yudi's poker-tongue, broke down and relinquished all the snazzy Brahmaastras and stuff only to enter the void in the ensuing hours.

In hindsight, Yudishthira stuck to his guns and didn't lie. He'd told the truth, only phrased it in such a way that it would sound the exact opposite to the ear that hears only what it expects to hear. In other words, there are many ways to represent the truth. If you show someone only a flashback scene from a technicolour movie and say "Yup! It's not in colour", the person would assume the MOVIE'S not in colour. But you haven't technically lied. You haven't really told the whole truth either. You can't say you've seen the forest after having seen a single tree.

Miss Chhapia seems to have perfected the art of LK's tactics over a couple of years. From pointless articles shooting down the IIM's to pieces portraying the rise of (pointless, might I add) underdogs. Exposees and incisive comments, it seems, are her forte.

A look at the aforementioned report.
It seems that a humungous percentage of the people admitted to VJTI are not fit to be in there in the first place, thanks but no thanks to the substandard entrance exams for this institute which is otherwise famed for its bubbling student pool. And a certain Mr KGN is blamed for helping the underdogs cope. And Miss Prissy Perfect has decided to clean overlook this fact, instead, having decided to drag in neighbours who liked to play hopscotch... (Where in the wide wide world did THAT train of thought come from? TOTALLY unnecessary).

Another unnecessary point brought up was a comparison of fees in 1930 and today. I guess the author just found that juicy piece of gossip while casually googling out 'आमची आई' and couldn't RESIST working it into the report and ended up producing a worthless angle to weave it in. Aah, the wonderful trends of modern journalism. Warms the heart.
And yes, don't you forget the Rs. 54000+ fees in city colleges, more than twice our fees, and half the reputation. VJTIans can have their cake and eat it too, thanks to the TEQIP!

In this neo-journalism, ambitious TEQIP programmes are deemed as rags to riches-where-thankless-people-give-a-damn-about-the-riches stories throwing about big names. But ok, that just might be a different story.

And no, we neo's ain't concerned that VJTI has at least 4 large functional computer labs when ABC Engineering College can't even boast of one lab that doesn't make u wish PC Sorcar Jr would make it disappear (*ABC may be replaced by names of most colleges in Mumbai.). And how can we deign to confess that we like the flexibility of syllabus that let's us cut the crap. I know everyone cribs and complains that it's too much and we can't study, but at the end of it all, we're the winners dude.

Is it me going nuts, or hasn't anybody noticed that the standard syllabus in eng colls in GreatState is humungously out-of-date. So why are you expecting 2008 apparatus in the laboratories, dudette? Prof discusses Botticelli in class while we're busy ogling at '*Random Contemporary Artist*'s work later?

Anybody at VJTI is "a professor" in this limbo world. In the real world, they don't even count. After 4 years, even I'm going to pose as a VJTI prof. Any takers? And that's the tip of the fabled iceberg. 29000 bucks becomes a major percentage of 22 crores. O yeah. Amounts to MAJOR adultery worth the front page. Guess Hardik's been pilfering funds from Shivaji Maidan's Maintenance Contract too...

And it's quite clear that Miss Chhapia hasn't seen the Auditorium at COEP last June. If that's not called "lining up" to get into VJTI, Matunga, I don't know what is. So many hearts were SHATTERED to pieces that day as they returned home with their tails between their legs while so many of us TRIUMPHANTLY marched home with that trophy of a receipt towards fees.

Passing over Ms. HC's opinion forming remarks, her incomplete research on sources or broken thought processes, whichever applies/apply, I'd like to share with you my deep sense of disappointment at the TOI news selection criteria, which appear to have gone green. Pressing social issues like RMO's going on strike (YES that's a social issue), success stories of kids testing scientific waters et al don't count as big news. Interruption of morning joggers outside VJTI makes it to the front page. A certain editor needs to return to journo school and pass Content Selection Techniques 101 to qualify.

A look at the TOI's sister paper Mumbai Mirror, reveals a much better-written, well researched piece that sticks to the fundas of the fourth estate. Give the facts, not an opinion to the reader. The opinion is the reader's for the making. And that is the bottomline of journalism, which the yedyas seem to have clean forgotten.

A quick look at the posts below will reflect my views on this "highly esteemed newspaper" (as we were trained to write in "Letters to the Editor" at school)... More like "highly steam-filled newspaper". Well, I guess they're going to earn Rs. 4 less next month onwards...

Moving on, past incompetent and progressively 'green'ing newspapers, 22 crores is a lot of dough, dude. We can build our own soccer stadium in the quad with that and use it as a loo if we wanna. Something does need to be done, but not what is being done now.

Students can address any issues they might have in a better way,

• Peacefully, RATIONALLY (not by organising morchas) but by:
• Non-fundamentalist, apolitical unity
  
• Better interaction with the management.
• Encouraging innovation to the point that it becomes a way of life.

• Letting go of the 'chalta-hai' attitude and actually take the initiative to improve current status. To quote Makarand Sir : "VJTI है, तो students की वजह से...". Let's make this ring true.
  
• And we CAN do it.

Remember that we are the reason the grand grant cash comes in, not the other way round.

Signing off.
El Buscador.

P.S. Now that I've vented that out, I'll go back to the fencing ring and try to joust down the writer in me. Adieu, good Sirs and Maidens. We shall meet again in happier times. Ere then, leave me thine comments on my humble viewpoint. Fare thee well.