Last evening Mom made The Proclamation of Doom that we'd be going (gasp! shriek) SHOPPING!!! A seemingly innocent name for the hours of endless sifting through stuff you may or may not need in your living life, choosing all the shiny stuff and then going home with all the shiny stuff just so that you can throw it away later into a highly unshiny heap of junk.But there was nothing to it. " At least we aren't going clothes-shopping", I pacified myself, reminding myself rather painfully of all the times when I've sprouted new ear hair while trying on 'n->infinity' number of outfits and parading for mom to see. Aargh. Well we're out on an innocent grocery trip to (ABCD/ABC)-Mart. "Might even be able to glean a coupla goodies to eat from the dreary trip".
How right I was.
On mom's agenda was a couple of summer drinks,a brand new kitchen apron and a bunch of notebooks for myself. Sounds innocent right? Yup.
As we enter The Mart, we are enveloped by all the shiny things on display... Gaudy colourful signs proclaiming free samples, free batteries, free juice, free underwear free this, free that, free the consumer... sighhh... Bring on the shopping cart...
One product proudly announced.. Rs. 8 off!! And the ectual MRP of Rs. 375 was conveniently written in small print somewhere at the bottom of the cheap plastic pack. Yet another crowdpuller was the pyramid of Barf washing powder.. "Now in a new Click Top storage Box..." I gingerly tested it " Ooh yeah baby!The box snaps shut with a satisying ">clikk<". What a reason to want to buy the pack. Sigh. Next..
And then there was light... We walked past the food aisle... Tons over tons of Smoodles, pasta, Snickers, Haldirams' ogling at me, beckoning with those smouldering 'come-hither' looks. And I finally gave in when I saw the Pringles aisle. " I must be in heaven!" I thought. Mom came along and picked up the adjacent pack of a competing Indian brand and the next ten minutes were spent arguing over the cost-effectiveness and quality of the two brands, which, by the way, would probably taste the same.
The argument yielded in favour of the younger debater and I happily added the Pringles box to the...
shopping cart.
THE SHOPPING CART??!!! Wow, it was overflowing already, with all manner of goodies and groceries except the said summer drinks, notebooks and the apron. Next up was the beverages aisle where we were utterly spoilt for choice. By the end of a gruelling 20 minutes, we had 4 different summer drinks in the cart.
After having picked up a number of other things on the way, including a fake Rudraksha bracelet, we were at the stationary aisle. Surprise surprise...
A4 size long books out of stock. Hmm...
After another Aisle Adventure where we picked up a volley of soaps and sorry's and swearing from fellow shoppers cuz' of the heavy unsteerable cart; we were at the aprons counter and guess again... "We're out of aprons Ma'am, sorry!" AAARRRGGHH...
And then we make our way to the checkout line with our tails between our legs, defeated that we got just one out of the targeted three things to buy.
But so what?? There are another 15 things in the trolley, smiling up at us waiting for the red LASER Light of Enlightenment that would signify their coming out of the Mart...
.
.
.
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As I heave my way out of the rickshaw at my building lobby, I can but marvel at the way these marts function. The weight of the 5 white and blue polythene bags really makes the point leaving no room for speculation. Heave ho.. Just wanted to buy those 3 items and came away with ... heave .. such a huge caravan of stuff ... why doesn't the lift come down soon... Blah blah blah.
You see, this is what I call real Marketing Skills. Market the stuff to the poor unsuspecting victim in such a way that he is absolutely COMPELLED to purchase your products. Talk about mass hypnotism and Derren Brown Principles and all that... So that's how these wholesalers work... Hmm.. Market by mass, not by price. Interesting.
Let's try this out...
Let's hype up education to the extent that people will be COMPELLED to educate their kids. Let's make it more interesting, more intriguing, more desirable, more shiny. Introduce novel learning methods, cutting edge technology, non human teachers, fun and games, free perks and chocolates to the underprivileged so that kids won't be able to resist school.
Or let's hype up the ill-effects of smoking, or the beautiful world of non-conventional energy sources, or the magic of helping out a poor and deserving child...
If hype's the way to go, let's create a hyped up 'consumer market' for the higher things in life. Let's make sure the 'consumer' gets more by doing a good turn to someone else. Let's provide incentives for doing a good turn, however small it may be. After all drops of water an ocean make.
Let's make this world a better place to live in, and not just fall over each other to snatch the last offer pack of Muesli from the shelf of that mart.
Amen.
TRIVIA OF THE DAY: March 22nd 2008 was (is, if you're reading this today) Holi, the time for extravagant balloon bursting, iridiscent outrageous gulal, the woks. "Sure I know that", you say. But do you know this? March 22 is also World Water Day. I'm not saying, don't play Holi. Just a resolution to reduce your daily consumption by even 10% on your own part will make a huge difference to this world. (Yeah! I'm a good Samaritan, baby!).
Check this out. Kids are dying w/o water
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