Engliss izh a vhairy phunny langvage, no?

What? You did not think that I was joking when I wrote this title for my newest post, no? I hope not, my friend. Because I am declaring this new post in dedication to the brand new dialect of the English language that we Indians love to call as the Hinglish or Indian or Standard English, as the Times of India was kind enough to christen it.

Who was thinking that the Queen's language would reach such a turning point that it would loose it's Anglicised videshi feel and be moulded into such a form where even the glaring mistakes of the English that we Indians sometimes talk are forgiven for the greater benefits of the earth in general?
For exampulle, when those poor unsuspecting firangs give a ring to the call centres that are flowering in our respected nation, they are appalled by the Engliss isspoken by the employees and are more often than not, not able to understand what we just sayed (=said). Like the Marathi Manoos who sayzh dhhat whee whill call you backs whith avhar rayzhponzh. Or the Mallu who keeps yinsisstingg that you staee wonn tha laeen, becauce your coll iss yimporrtand to yess. I am sure, dear reader, that you also can keep on adding to this list.

Means whaaat?? To try and understand our pathetic English, the whole world will modify their way of talking or what? Haan?? I am not suggesting that this is not possible saheb, merely thaa..aaat, it is pure absurdity. I am thinking that it makes sense to try and improve our own manner of speaking, rather than expecting the whole globe to be trying to understand our ishtyle.
Think like this sir. If the British people were to announce that they are going to go to modify the Hindi or the Sanskrit languages, I am sure that it would have sparked off the large scale protests all over India, maybe even the world! You get my point na? Then why to interfere? Stay put, learn their language properly, respect it. But yah, you can try to make them learn to speak our languages and learn to respect them also. Sanskrit is already widely acclaimed as a very scientific and logical langvage. The firangs are respecting it. Then why do we not respect their language in turn. Live and Let Live, our great Bapuji used to say...

But then too, if you don't agree with me, then just imagine what will be happening in the schools and classrooms?? Already the teachers are very confused about whether to give the full marks for the long essay or not... After all, the student A had written the tenses all correctly, but now with the new English Standards, even what that other student B is writing is correct that way na?? "So I will giu both the students the marks." Rezhult : Student B never studied for the English paper, wrote the colloquial stuff he talks and scores the same as poor "I'm-a-thoroughbred-Brit-since-childhood" Student A. So much for the marks mania gripping high schools...

And if you still don't believe me, then come and attend our maths lectures in college and you will be the enlightenments. If you are the knowed then laugh, if not knowed then thank God, you are the lucky one.

Anyhow, I am getting too appalled by the nonsense I have written this far. My sincerest apologies to all my English teachers, however good or bad they may have been, even more heartfelt apologies to Meenakshi Aunty. If you ever read this, Aunty, a zillion sorries to you. All along I could hear your voice reprimanding me for all the wrong tense usage and unnecessary emphases and blah this blah that.

With all due apologies, I do hereby reject the blatant Indianisation of the Queen's language with a BIG SIZE no! It's most certainly NOT up my alley.

And yah, lait uzh rename The Times of India as "The Times of Yedyas"...

Oh well, Buscador signing off yet again, will be back for more grouses and gripes later.

P.S. Lheev me yuuar vhyuzh in tha comments saykshun and we can have a good discushun regarding this "aham masla". (That's Urdu there, wanna go figure?)