This post is actually the transcript of a conversation I recently had on Orkut with a dear friend and fellow table tennis freak on a couple of such boring evenings. I've tried to maintain the 'scrap' quality of the dialogues (no pun intended!).
DISCLAIMER: The writer is not responsible for any brain damage occurring due to reading this post. By reading ahead the reader takes upon himself the responsibility of any serious medical condition such as brain haemorrhage or intense insanity/violence or intellectual impairment arising from reading this conversation.
So now that you have been warned, read on...
People talking: TP (yours faithfully) and PJ (the friend mentioned above)
DISCLAIMER: Any resemblance of the names to Time Pass and Poor Joke is purely coincidental.
TP on Facebook: m bored.
PJ on GTalk: ME too. :)
PJ on Orkut: thanku thanku.. :)
friends, romans n countrymen...
ok whtva.
PJ: ok that was crap. lol.
TP: ROMANS???? where's your patriotism lady???
PJ: lol.. ok..
here we go again.. take 2..
friends, Indians.. (Nah..)
PJ: sorry.. take 3.
friends and.. yes, countrymen..
lol.
TP: ya, whichever-country-you-are-from-men
PJ: lol.. yes.
that makes it take 4.
heh..
TP: yes take 5... i fuhgot ma dialogue
Brief chat on Facebook, GTalk n Yahoo…
PJ: yes..
there seems to be no significance of the green dots beside both our names.. :P
TP: ya hello again
TP: obvi not... get on with the takes...
PJ: oh yes..
take 6..
achchoo!! sorry! :)
TP: take 7...
my specs fell down... sowie
PJ: take 8..
look..
the cameraman's asleep!!
TP: he's not asleep... he's dead!!! aaarrrggghhhh. call the flowerwalla
PJ: oh yes.. n the chemist fellow to get some cotton for his nostrils.. i've used all the cotton for my make-up.. :)
TP: oh shit... nahiiii.... the flowerwalla's outta roses for the grave...
PJ: ok.. let's use him in the play instead.. as.. maybe.. er.. the deadman.. or something?
TP: how convenient!!! sahi hai! he's a natural!! ok take... wat number r v on??
PJ: take 9..
AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he's still alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TP: but he's a natural!! let him do the part...
PJ: right ok.. m scared..
u do the next take..
m scared..
TP: okok. bt wat number r v on
PJ: 10.. take 10..
TP: okok. take 10. did you say he's still alive!!???!!?!?!?! aaaahhhhh runnn!! zombie!!
PJ: can i interrupt?
let's kill him before we continue the shoot.
TP: gr8 idea. u do d honours... w8 can u technicalli KILL a zombie?
PJ: Oh yea.. good question..
ok.. i am a professional actor.. (ahem) n so are u.. (Ahem, again)..
so one of us pretend to be a zombie and kill him na..
ok.. did that make sense?
TP: ahem ahem... is umbridge around? umm... well you pretend. ive neva played ZOMBIE b4
PJ: lol..
this's my first time too..
TP: take 11... shit... v need a cameraman!!!
PJ: YAY!! i've done it!!!
i killed a zombie... LOL!!!
yes.. till i rejoice, the next take please..
TP: got a cameraman?
PJ: now go n b the cameraman for me for the next take..
take 12..
friends n countrymen..
i killed a ZOMBIE!!!!!
TP: shit i forgot to put in d reel
PJ: ok..
cameraman ready? reel's in?
fine..
take 13..
Isn't 13 an unlucky number?
TP: ya let's do the fourteenth take directly
yes.. take 14
friends,.. er.. wait..
can someone tell me what is my role in this play?
TP: wait... r v doin a play or r v givin a mechanix lec in dayals?
PJ: sorry. (the director's gonna kill us now. )
TP: can v make that take 15 pl? 14 is 2 close to 13
PJ: Ah.. yes.
y not?
TP: ok take 15...
yessssssss. i made 1500 scraps!!! ouch... knocked down d camera... sorry
PJ: and hurt urself.. so.... injury..
pack up for today.
(i have to leave.. cya tomrw)
goodnight.
TP: come to the hospital to meet me ok. vll discuss the story there.... night
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
PJ: yes.. so how are you today? :)
TP: umm i have a bad back still... but i can play tt... :D
TP: day 2
PJ: yes.. day 2.
take 1
yawn!!
TP: take 2
wait, do v have dialogues written?
PJ: take 3..
looks into the camera and frowns... wait.. these arent my "dialogues".. oops! sorry..
TP: oh damn. that's my mom's recipe book. my doggie ate the dialogies
PJ: Ah.. chuck it.
i have a copy!
ur turn..
TP: wow. ur a saviour. w8 i don't own a dog...
neway, chhod...
TP: take 4...
w8 i need to brush b4 i start. sorry, was late so i came directly...
PJ: lol..ok.
take 6..
hey!! it's take 5, u idiot!!
TP: oh oh okok. sorry. now take... uh umm 6...
arre wait na, lemme say it properly. i even brushed to say it. ok...
take 6.
PJ: take 6..
cookies yes.. take 6 cookies. yay!!
TP: not 6 yaar. 69..
PJ: ok..
take 8..
burp!! (cookies effect)
PJ: take 7...
TP: take *thinks*(7+3=10, 710) cookies
take 710 cookies!! :D
PJ: lol.. nice one.
TP: take 9
why fart n waste wen u can burp n taste... hahahahaha
PJ: omg! i dint guess that would come here... argh!
anyway..
take 10..
the floor's wet.. the director's crying. :|oh no!! the whole set is gone!
TP: what the HELL!!?!
PJ: k.. chuck it.. let's go and watch some other play instead. :)
TP: take 11.
what? didja say director?? v have one??!!
*slips in water in a frenzy* dhadaaammm. *pulls camera along while falling**camera wires pull out all other wires*
*short circuit ensues*...
*small voice in the dark* whoops
shit man. wait. lemme get out ma magic wand... *reverse*
k everything's bak to normal.
take... umm. let's just restart na… wait where's dat director u told me about??
PJ: he has given up..
we have to take charge now.
TP: as if he was doing everything till now.. must b from vjti...
well since vr runnin d show u mit s well rest n we'll start afresh w/o this director of ours...
PJ: AH.. that's a good idea.
but m sleepy now..
we'll start tomrw.
good night!
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………....
One day skipped
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
TP: PJJJJJ
PJ: k.. let's work on a TT match scene today. what say?
TP: great idea.
take 1...
me:*serving*shit. bad serve.
u: no that was a very good serve!!
PJ: hey.. please haan..
i dun say it's a good one when it's a bad serve.
nywy, take 2..
me: *smashing*
u:*standing n watching the ball hitting the door behind*
me: oh!! nice try TP..!! ;)
TP: lolz gud 1
me: shit im sweatin like a pig.
u: arre u wanna convert this place to a swimming pool kya? v alredy have 1 ok. so thanx but no thanx!!
lolz. ok bad 1
PJ: lol..
take 4..
me: chal toss..
(the toss continues for 10 mins..)
u: ok.. the match shud've been over by now..
me:*yawning* u bet!!
(it misses the table)
u: yipee!! i won the game..
next game.
TP: eeks.
take 5
after playing for 5 mins continnuous..
forehand shot!
i miss the table n hit u in the eye...
PJ: heh.. that is so true..
take 6:
i hit a shot.. the ball misses the table.. and lands on the pool table.
u: ok.. that's the ball's way of saying.. "enough!! i guess i'll b treated better as a cue ball..!!"
TP: hehehehe...
take 7:
me: u play with backhand n i'll do forehand...
*silence...*
*both of us collapse laughing*
PJ: lolzz.. good 1.
take 8:
me: gimme backhand na..
u: ok..
me: *trying my best at backhand* yayy!! it hit the table... !!!
u: yes... it did.. the POOL table!!
TP: rofl... lmao...
PJ: ya..
next take.
TP: take 9: me served my backhand spin
u: arre w8 camera ko roll honey de yaar....
PJ: hehe..
i cant recollect any other funny instances now.
i guess we'll continue tomrw.
:)
TP: one final take...
take 10..
me serving forehand... yeahhhhhh...*thriows ball in the air*
*massive swipe*
*bat hits ball*
*ball goes under table*
PJ: ok.. now this deserves a ROFL.. LMAO!!
TP: \m/ thank you
*takes a bow*
TP: one more one more
take 11:
*playin real well haan... good shot being taken*
watchman enters... idhar jayant kaun hai? mujhe woh family members list mila hai...*shit*
PJ: full form mein u r in!!
really..
rofl.. 2 in a row!!
PJ: Chal anyway.. if u have better ones keep scrapping!!
good night!! :)
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